Self-confidence is one of the most valuable traits that you can work to develop throughout life. Those that are confident in themselves are able to better tackle life’s problems, they do not feel an urge to fit in, and they carry themselves in a way that attracts other successful people.

Building confidence.

Building confidence is challenging, though. It takes time and self-love. You have to learn to love yourself for who you really are and be comfortable showing that self to the world. Despite its difficulty, building this self-assurance can propel your success throughout life.

One great way to become more confident is to surround yourself with and observe those who are already proud of who they are. This will give you a path towards where you are headed and can teach you that you can be individualistic and unique while still being great.

When around confident people, it is helpful to observe how they act. Here are 7 things confident people never do that you can eliminate from your routine which will lead to a happier and more effective life:

1. Overthink small decisions.

Insecure people are often unsure about the choices that they make because they do not trust themselves. That leads to overthinking each action. Throughout our lives, we have to make countless decisions, many of which are easy.

Overthinking them, though, leads to significantly higher levels of stress and energy output. Having to expend mental energy on each little action we take is draining. Those that are confident, on the other hand, know when they can trust their instinct. This allows them to put their energy in places that are more important.

2. Change to make others like them.

Self-assured people are able to be themselves all of the time. They feel no urge to change in order to impress others. Instead, they act in their own self-interests and act more authentically. This allows them to put more attention on the present situation and growing as a person as opposed to conforming based on what others think.

People who spend their lives trying to fit in, end up wasting time being someone that they are not. This is a missed opportunity to do more of what you love and are good at. Plus, being untrue to yourself will just make you less happy going through each day.

3. Get jealous.

 

When one is comfortable with themselves, they feel no jealousy towards others. Despite the fact that someone else might be considered more “successful,” or “smarter,” or “better looking,” people that are confident do not mind. They are happy with the way that they are living their lives and feel no pressure from those around them.

There will always be others that are better than us at something. Therefore, loving ourselves and being content with what we bring to the world eliminates feelings of jealousy towards others. Not to mention that jealousy also takes our attention away from the current moment and puts it towards a negative and draining feeling.

4. Brag.

Someone that is confident does not need external validation from others. Despite the amazing things that one might be doing with their life, confident people feel no urge for validation from others. That leads to very little bragging. It is easy to spot those that want everyone around them to know how awesome they are.

These people tend to create enemies and can come across as inauthentic. Those that are confident, on the other hand, are comfortable with themselves and do not need compliments or assurance from those around them to feel better off.

5. Only do what is comfortable.

Without self-reliance, it is difficult to take chances and risk failure. Doing so can hurt your self-concept and make you vulnerable in front of others. Therefore, those that lack confidence are often not comfortable taking chances. Doing so, though, is critical to leading a successful life.

Without putting yourself in challenging situations, you will not be able to grow. Courageous people approach challenges knowing that they might not succeed. They trust their self-instinct, though, and are not embarrassed by failure.

6. Give up easily.

People who lack confidence are very quick to jump ship when things do not go well. When you are struggling with a project or endeavor, lacking self-trust makes you less likely to continue onward.

Those that are confident, on the other hand, trust their decision making. Therefore, despite the initial difficulty that something might have, they trust the choice that they made. That leads to them sticking things out longer, which often creates positive outcomes. It is through hardship that we frequently are able to reach exciting destinations.

7. Make excuses

Confident people believe that they are in control of their own lives. They do not feel an urge to make excuses because they know that their success and shortcomings can largely be attributed to themselves. This leads to a lack of pointing fingers. Instead, they take accountability for their mistakes. This lifestyle is more conducive to personal growth as well as garnering respect from others.

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Renzo Costarella is an entrepreneur, avid learner, and startup enthusiast currently living in Silicon Valley. He consults for several startups in the Bay Area and is pursuing a few ideas of his own.

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