I grew up in a city with a brother and a bunch of male cousins that lived two blocks away. I played a lot street hockey, football and rode my bike off of random ramps. Most times, I was the only girl participating. I learned some valuable work lessons from those experiences I had growing up that can be applied to business and life. Hopefully, sharing my stories will help you in some way.
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Understand Unwritten Rules
I often got picked last when captains were choosing players to put on their teams. It had nothing to do with skill. It had more to do with not insulting one of the other boys if I got picked over them. I wouldn’t really squawk about it because I understood that it didn’t matter when I got picked. I knew I would play better than some of the others who were chosen before me when it came time to play.
Understand that sometimes things happen this way in life and business. I was quiet and though sometimes it hurt my feelings, I decided it wasn’t a major issue. I didn’t want to break any boy code and possibly get ousted from playing because I was a girl.
This also applies to business. I once worked for a tutoring service in a very affluent town. There was another tutor there who barely taught a year. She wasn’t up on what school systems currently focused on and wouldn’t always give the children age-appropriate work assignments nor instruct with current teaching methods. I was certified and had experience. She did not.
Many of the kids would have to constantly redo the work she assigned because she didn’t properly teach them how to do it. Since she graduated from an Ivy League college, most of the parents favored her, not knowing what she was really like.
My boss knew that when it came down to who really taught the kids effectively and also helped out with running certain aspects of the business, she could count on me more so than the other worker.
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Don’t Split Hairs on Everything
If I complained about getting picked last, I could have risked embarrassing some of the other players. Sometimes it’s not worth opening your mouth for something minor. If a client pays you late one time or completely forgets, I personally wouldn’t enforce a late fee if there’s a glitch. If you’ve worked with them for a long time or never had a problem in the past, you might not want to push your late fee policy right away.
You’ll know an honest mistake from someone who is trying to pull something on you. Everyone makes mistakes and it can’t hurt to let people slide once in awhile. I’m not talking about repeat offenders or people who are truly looking to take advantage, I’m talking about someone who is a pleasant client that made a mistake or is going through a rough circumstance.
One of the top lessons I’ve learned is to pick and choose your battles. Don’t bother people for every little thing. One of the perks of my job is that I don’t have someone looking over my shoulder or breathing down my next physically or virtually. Try not to pester people with too many emails or avoid following up too frequently. Unless it’s something urgent, you might have to let it go or just give them time to get back to you.
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Sometimes when You Win, You Really Lose
Sometimes you lose when you try to win at all costs. One of my cousins I played football with was very competitive. He was usually the captain and was one of the best players. We were normally on the same team. The one time that I wasn’t, he ran after me when I caught the ball.
I was very fast at age twelve but not faster than a 16 year old boy. He charged toward me. Whether he meant to do it or not, he tagged me out a little too hard playing touch football.
Unfortunately, I went sailing into a telephone pole since we were playing in a park on a city block. I banged my head and got knocked out. I was delivered home by 4 boys carrying me back to my house.
It damaged my relationship with my cousin for a short time. Though we were family and eventually got back on good terms, I never really saw him the same after that. The lesson I learned from this is don’t damage relationships especially for short term gain. In this situation, being more concerned about winning trumped worrying whether or not another person would get hurt.
Warren Buffett once said: “It takes 20 years to build a reputation and 5 minutes to ruin it.” Think before you do something. It’s tempting to act unpleasantly when someone has crossed the line. I’m guilty of that myself. Whether you have to stay in your current work situation or you’re on your way out or you work from home and may not ever see the person, choose to handle things gracefully.
The Bottom Line
Looking back at my experiences, I’ve learned some valuable lessons that apply to life and business. By understanding unwritten rules, not complaining about every little thing and not damaging relationships you’ll find that you’ll work much better with others in a professional setting as well as on your own.
