Multigenerational living isn’t new — it’s how families have lived for centuries. Recently, however, the trend has experienced a noticeable resurgence, particularly among retirees. As housing costs rise, life expectancies extend, and cultural norms shift, many people, like the “silver squatters,” are opting to live with their adult children.
As of 2024, this living arrangement within one household, where grandparents, parents, and children all live together, has reached a 10-year high. Additionally, 17% of homes purchased during a recent year were multigenerational homes, according to a report from the National Association of Realtors.
Although the arrangement can be beneficial emotionally and financially, it also entails challenges that should be taken into account. In this article, we’ll examine the pros, cons, and practical considerations of living with multiple generations.
Why the Shift Back to Multi-Generational Households?
This return to the traditional living model is driven by several modern forces, including;
- Financial pressures. For retirees on a fixed income, household expenses, property taxes, and maintenance can be overwhelming. For example, the median cost of a private room in a nursing home is $10,646 a month. Suffice it to say, aging parents can save a lot of money by moving in with their families.
- Longer lifespans. As people live longer, they are more likely to need some form of support later on in life, which makes a family support system an attractive feature.
- Caregiver needs. For working parents, co-living can be a mutually beneficial solution because grandparents can help with childcare. Moreover, children can assist their parents as they age. In the U.S., about a third of adults who live with their family members say they moved for easier caretaking. Among these, 25% cite adult caregiving and 12% child care.
- Continued cultural continuity. In multigenerational environments, younger generations can learn directly from their elders, thereby preserving cultural traditions, languages, and values.
- A safe and secure environment. In the event of an emergency, more people in the household can provide immediate assistance. As evidenced by the COVID-19 pandemic, proximity made it more desirable for families to minimize isolation and provide mutual support in times of need.
The Pros of Intergenerational Living
Sharing a home across generations can be beneficial when done correctly.
- Financial relief for everyone. By pooling resources, retirees and their children can lower their living costs. Utility expenses, groceries, and property maintenance can be shared so that everyone can save money.
- Built-in support system. It’s easier for families to assist each other when they live together. A retiree can count on help with daily chores or transportation, while a younger family member can benefit from childcare or household help.
- Stronger family bonds. By spending more time together, families can strengthen family bonds. As retirees share their stories and life lessons, grandchildren gain a deeper understanding of their family history.
- Reduced loneliness. Loneliness has been linked to several health problems among older adults, including high blood pressure, heart disease, obesity, weakened immunity, anxiety, depression, cognitive decline, Alzheimer’s disease, and even death. However, in multi-generational living, you receive daily interaction, a sense of purpose, as well as emotional comfort, thereby reducing feelings of loneliness.
- Mutual skill-sharing. Younger generations can offer tech support and fresh perspectives on navigating modern life, while older adults can provide wisdom and practical skills.
The Cons of Intergenerational Living
Despite the benefits, there are challenges with this arrangement. As such, being realistic is essential.
- Loss of privacy. Often, sharing a home means giving up personal space. Retirees accustomed to living alone may struggle with the adjustment.
- Potential for conflict. The lifestyles, parenting styles, and household habits of various members of the same family can lead to tension. A minor disagreement over noise, cleanliness, or schedules can escalate if it is not addressed.
- Strain on relationships. When boundaries aren’t respected, living together can sometimes have the opposite effect of bringing people closer.
- Role confusion. Often, retired parents overstep in parenting decisions, or adult children take on more caregiving responsibilities than expected, leading to resentment.
- Financial complications. When contributions are imbalanced or shared expenses are unclear, financial matters can become complicated.
Practical Considerations Before Making the Move
Before anyone packs a box, there’s a lot that goes into creating a successful multi-generational household. By having honest conversations, planning smartly, and establishing clear agreements, everyone involved can avoid misunderstandings.
Have the big conversation early.
It’s important to discuss the reason for the move, what each needs, and what they are willing to do to contribute. You should also discuss the rules governing your household, your privacy boundaries, your financial situation, and whether this is a temporary or permanent arrangement.
Design the space for comfort and privacy.
To maintain independence while staying connected, create separate living spaces for each generation, such as a finished basement, garage conversion, or in-law suite.
Nail down the finances.
Remember to put it in writing how rent or mortgage will be divided, along with utilities, groceries, and maintenance. By maintaining a shared household budget, you will be able to keep your spending transparent and avoid awkward money conversations later on.
Share the workload.
Kids aren’t the only ones who benefit from chore charts. To avoid overburdening anyone, assign responsibilities based on preferences, abilities, and schedules. The plan should be reviewed regularly and adjusted as necessary.
Plan for care needs now.
If health concerns arise, decide in advance who will provide care and how it will be arranged.
Make the home accessible.
Take into account both current and future needs. It’s possible to make small changes to improve safety today and prevent bigger challenges down the road, like installing grab bars, better lighting, and wider walkways.
Respect parenting boundaries.
In terms of childcare, grandparents can offer a great deal of assistance, but they should leave decision-making to the parents. To avoid tension, keep communication clear.
Protect everyone legally and financially.
Depending on the situation, living together will affect your property ownership, inheritance, and eligibility for certain benefits. Before moving, update your estate planning documents, consider renting or caring for others, and seek the guidance of a financial planner and an estate attorney.
Making It Work Day-to-Day
While finances, space, and responsibilities are important, the day-to-day rhythm is what determines whether multi-generational living is successful or not. These habits help maintain peace, respect, and connection.
- Keep communication open (and kind). If left unresolved, small issues can snowball. During the week, schedule quick check-ins to discuss what’s working, what’s not working, and any changes you need to make to routines.
- Respect privacy like it’s sacred. When entering someone’s room, knock before entering, don’t borrow without asking, and respect alone time. The closer you live together, the more respect you show each other’s personal space.
- Share meals — but not all of them. Eating dinner as a family is a great bonding tradition, but don’t feel obligated to do so at every meal. There are times when separate mealtimes are necessary to maintain everyone’s independence.
- Be flexible about “your way” vs. “their way.” Cooking, cleaning, and raising kids may differ from generation to generation. As such, pick your battles wisely and focus on what really matters.
- Mix shared and separate activities. Encourage separate hobbies and friendships so no one feels “stuck” in the house dynamic.
- Rotate responsibilities. By switching up tasks, such as cooking, grocery runs, or school pick-ups, you keep the workload fair and prevent burnout.
- Keep common spaces tidy. Shared areas like kitchens, living rooms, and laundry rooms often become conflict zones. Establish and adhere to a basic tidiness standard.
- Practice gratitude daily.
Living together is a choice — not an obligation. So, the simplest of “thank yous” can go a long way toward maintaining goodwill. - Give each other grace. There will always be off days for everyone. It’s important to approach conflicts with understanding, remembering that patience and forgiveness are the keys to a happy household.
Conclusion
In addition to saving money, intergenerational living strengthens family ties and provides much-needed support for everyone involved. However, it’s not a decision to be made lightly. To make it work, careful planning, clear communication, and realistic expectations are essential. In a multigenerational household, respect for everyone’s needs and boundaries can make it more than just a living arrangement.
FAQs
Is intergenerational living a permanent arrangement?
It doesn’t have to be. For many families, the arrangement is a temporary solution to childcare, financial problems, or health troubles. Early on, though, it is essential to discuss and agree on the expected duration of the arrangement.
How should we handle money and shared expenses?
Clarity is the key.
Make a written agreement outlining how major expenses like rent, mortgage, utilities, and groceries will be split. Some families pool resources, while others agree on a fixed contribution from each family member. A financial advisor can help you structure this arrangement fairly.
What about legal and tax implications?
Depending on your location and the specifics of the arrangement, the legal and tax implications may differ. In some cases, adding a parent to a property’s deed can affect capital gains taxes and eligibility for certain benefits. To understand any potential impacts, it’s recommended that you consult with a lawyer or tax professional.
How do we address conflict and maintain boundaries?
Respectful, open communication is the most effective tool.
Regular family meetings will help resolve issues before they escalate. Also, establish ground rules early. And, all parties should respect boundaries around personal space, parenting decisions, and shared responsibilities.
How do we balance caregiving with other responsibilities?
Before the move, discuss caregiving responsibilities in detail, especially if an aging parent has health concerns. Establish who will provide care, for how long, and when outside help may be needed. As a result, neither the caregiver nor the recipient becomes overwhelmed, and their well-being is ensured.
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